James Danger's last Brain CELL

Every time I think I have the answer, it only leads to more questions. Every time I think I have completed my task, I realize there are more things that need to be done. Some people are content to ride the merry-go-round. It’s safe and secure because it’s redundant. Those people like schedules and routine, they have no desire to see beyond the horizon. I am happy for them and a little jealous. I can’t imagine what gives them pleasure, they get up at a certain time, do their morning chores, eat breakfast, go to work, return home to their planned evening, go to bed, knowing tomorrow will be the same. None the less, the majority of people live this kind of existence, and for the most part appear to be comfortable and secure. I guess, for them that equates to happiness. I have made a couple attempts at being normal, I would get into a relationship with a “normal” woman, who would convince me that part of the good life was to settle down, get a good job, and watch the world through television. Looking back, it was my fault this didn’t work out. I would quickly progress through the ranks at work, accumulate material things, and quietly start preparing for death. Once I even bought “death insurance”. I don’t see why they call it life insurance, when the only way you collect is to die. Eventually I would go stark raving mad, and do impulsive things which would disrupt our stability, they would eventually leave because they were afraid things wouldn’t work out. If life has taught me one thing it is that things always work out, it’s the natural order. They may not work out the way we planned, but they wok out in one way or the other. I guess that’s why I like the roller coaster. I am bored to death when I know what I am going to do each and every day, over and over. I have always landed on my feet and the end of an adventure does not disappoint me that it is over, it leaves me eager to begin the next. Maybe there is a great plan to the universe, if so I am doing what I am supposed to be doing no matter how bizarre it appears. Maybe we manifest our own destinies, with our will power, and once again I am where I am destined to be. Or maybe the universe exists in chaos. This is exciting to me, but frightening to most. It’s the click, click, click of the roller-coaster being pulled up the biggest hill and the thrill of knowing it’s to late to turn back, and the only way out is to ride it to the end. Sure the car may plummet off the tracks and you to your death, but at least its fun while it lasts.

JD Barlow
jamesfbarlow@mail.com